I feel like I'm losing all control of myself and so many things seem to keep knocking me back. I'm losing all self-belief in my abilities and my confidence is getting knocked because of it.
The thing that is suffering the most is my confidence in my ability to rap. I feel like I can't pick up a pen and write because I fear that whatever I write will not meet my usual standards. I've got to somehow get out of this mindset.
Not only am I suffering with my music, but almost every other department is suffering too. At this point in time, I feel like I can't do anything; I'm currently having to claim unemployment benefits because I just can't seem to get a job, and I know it sounds vain, but I'm starting to feel really shit about the way I look as well as the way I feel about myself in general.
I know that I've got to make changes and stop being so selfish, arrogant and persistent (with the things I shouldn't be so persistent with) if I want to start feeling good about things, and I'm prepared to put in the work that needs to be done in order to do so.
Dave, maybe you're looking at it the wrong way. What makes you think you're being so selfish, arrogant and persistent? It's easy to get down on yourself when things around you are going wrong and making you think its your fault, but sometimes it's just the way things happen. You have incredible raps and you will grow with every new rap you write. Be patient with yourself, but just keep going. Keep listening to your favorite rappers and keep looking for your inspiration, whether that be a person or your favorite thinking spot. You are incredible. All I pray is that you think the same and that the people who have an influence on you are telling you the same thing. You deserve absolutely NOTHING less than to believe you're really as great as you are. And as far as your looks go, you know you're always adorable to me :)
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